Vigil
by ProcurerFaith
Summary: Repost: Matt is wandering through Tokyo when he hears Tai's voice, His friend is upset, but Matt can't see him, or make him listen...


Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. All Digimon characters are owned by Toei and A. Hongo and such. I am making no money from this fic. It is a just-for-fun project. The only bit I own is my own characters and the way the words are put together. Lyrics mid-fic are from the song 'Vigil' by Fish. I don't own those, either.

**Author's Note; 24th June 2008** – Please remember, edits may not quite appear as you remember them, as I'm hashing together the beta and the original uploads. I do not plan to come back and amend this work (if I start picking holes in it, I'll never stop XD)

**Vigil**

Matt walked though the bright Tokyo streets. Night was very rarely dark in the city, and he wandered past vibrantly coloured windows and neon signs. He felt strangely distracted, somewhat absent from his surroundings.

The whole situation sat slightly wrong with him. It seemed late, and he couldn't understand why he was walking around the town centre at night by himself. He was normally with friends or his brother, TK. In fact, he didn't even remember leaving home.

His hands in his pockets, he stopped to look into the window of an electronics store. He gazed distantly at the TV screens, all tuned to the same channel. It was a show Matt didn't recognise, but it seemed just like all the normal junk.

He didn't know why he stopped. He wasn't particularly interested in either the electronics store or the TV's. At first, in the melee of people around him, he didn't even hear the voice.

As he turned away, he heard it. A little whisper of a voice somewhere far, far away. It sounded like:

"Tai?"

" '_Listen to me. Just hear me out. If I could have your attention… Just quieten down for a voice in the crowd' "_

"You got my attention. Where are you?" Matt looked around, his eyes not really focusing on very much, unable to locate his friend. The crowd bustled on around him, unaware of his presence. His common sense chided him, telling him that if he could hear Tai, then he must be somewhere nearby. A deeper, darker voice, however, implanted in his mind this thought: He Doesn't Have To Be. There Are Other Forms of Communication.

" 'I get so confused and I don't understand. I know you feel the same way. You've always wanted to say. But you don't get the chance. Just a voice in the crowd' "

"Tai? Why can't I see you? Where are you?" Matt asked. A seed of primitive panic set root inside of him.

"I don't understand what you're trying to say, or why. You sound upset."

" '_I don't know the score anymore. It's not clear anymore. I can't tell right from wrong anymore. I just don't understand'…"_

A shiver of pain ran through Tai's voice. Matt's face crumpled into a worried scowl.

"What's wrong, Tai? I can't help you if you don't tell me. I need to find you, you have to tell me where you are."

He Is Nowhere You Can Reach Him. The darker voice said.

" '_When I was young my father told me just bad guys die- at that time, just a little white lie. It was one of the first, but it hurt me the most and the truth stung like tears in my eyes- that even the good guys must die' "_

"Of course, Tai. Nobody lives forever. What's happened, what's made you think this way?" Matt asked his absent friend. He knew he was standing in front of the store's plate window, but the more he talked, the less of himself he could sense. He was more concentrated on Tai's disturbing words, his upset voice.

" '_There's no reasons, no crimes, and I never knew why- even now, it still makes me cry' "_

Tai's voice was heavy. It sounded indeed, as though he were close to tears. Matt was silent as he listened to the ever-present, but always distant voice of his best friend as he spoke his distress out loud.

" '_When you tell me the forces we're fighting, then I'll join you and gladly make plans.' "_

Matt sat down on the sill of the shop window. He felt suddenly weak from the intensity and integrity of Tai's words. The one-time Bearer of Courage was opening his heart to him, and Matt had no idea why. He just knew he had to listen.

"I still don't know what you're saying, Tai. What are you telling me?"

The darker voice spoke again: You're Not In Tokyo.

Matt gasped.

" '_If there's somebody up there, would they throw me down a line; just a little helping hand, just a little understanding. Just some answers to the questions that surround me now. Just a little guiding light to tell wrong from right'…"_

Matt was silent as he closed his eyes, feeling a strange exhaustion sneak up on his body. He heard the darker voice again.

Let It Come. It Is Inevitable Now.

"I don't…I don't understand anybody… Is it me, or…has everybody gone mad…?" Matt whispered, rubbing the back of his neck with a weary hand.

" '_I'll keep a vigil in a wilderness of mirrors. Nothing here is ever what it seems'"_

"Tai?"

Matt's voice was suddenly scared. He couldn't believe how weak he felt. It seemed as though his throat was constricted, as though no breath he took was deep enough, as though there was no oxygen in his lungs. Suddenly, like an explosion behind his eyes, the beat of the brain- blood in his head, Matt realised what was happening and why everybody seemed so surreal. He realised what had been wrong with the situation the whole time. The darker voice seemed louder now.

You're Dying.

" '_You're reaching out, you're so close you can touch it. But it all disappears when it's always so near'…"_

Matt could hear Tai crying. He wanted to reach out, to stop Tai crying, to do something- anything- to get out of this wretched state.

"_I love you Matt, but this isn't my decision. It's up to your mom and dad, and TK. I wouldn't choose this way for you- and I'm amazed that _they_ did. I would _never_ have turned off the machine." _Tai's voice was little more than a whisper, even fainter than it had been before.

Matt turned his face to the sky and felt two droplets of water hit his face. He opened his weary eyes and looked up into the dark night. More water struck his face, and he took the time to notice that it was raining.

He still couldn't breathe properly, but it was becoming a distant problem, something that didn't matter anymore. The world was dissipating all around him, going out of focus, the bright colours of his memory-ember home town fading.

" '_But one day we will find that we stand in the light. Until then I'll keep a vigil…'"_

"I will wait." Matt whispered, his eyes closing one last time, the dispersion of his body into the atmosphere taking away every scrap of pain, every moment of displeasure.

"_I will wait. Until then, and I see you well again, I will wait." _Tai's voice carried across the dark, empty void Matt sensed he was in.

" '_I'm afraid to shout in case I draw attention from the powers that preside over our minds and our lives.' "_

"No grieving, Tai…no grieving…" Matt uttered. It was still his voice, but he had no body to form the sound or the words- his soul now a separate entity entirely, on another plane.

"_You will never die within me. I will keep your memory alive." _

Matt's parents hadn't been able to cope with seeing Matt go. Neither of them could bear to be in the room with their dying son. This left just Tai and TK to guide him into his next place of being. TK's expression was vacant- he didn't seem to be able to acknowledge what was happening to his brother. Tai, on the other hand, had his face buried in Matt's bedcovers, and couldn't help but cry.

Turning off the life support had been the only fair option to TK and his family.

Matt wouldn't want to be sat there, unable to live beyond the bed.

He'd have hated them for leaving him that way.

Three days ago, Matt had been perfectly healthy. The drunken taxi driver had not respected that health.

One moment, one mistake can change a life- or end one.

Fate is a cruel master.

_-Fini-_

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Thank you very much for reading to the end :) I appreciate your time greatly, and hope that I've entertained you a little ;)


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